David and I both grew up in Northridge, both completed graduate and undergraduate degrees at UCLA, had friends in common from college and recently discovered that my cousin was his childhood music teacher. They were open-minded, and when they had concerns, they worked through them instead of cutting us out of their lives. Today, we are a unique, blended family of the two of us and four sons — ages 26, 24, 4 and 2. They were the best men at our wedding and hugged us and congratulated us when we told them we were expecting our first child together. Today, when I see others making unconventional decisions about their lives and children, decisions that come from a place of love but might be different than those I would make, I try to be open-minded and extend the same courtesy I have expected from others. After all, you never really know what something looks like behind closed doors.
Dating older men is not a new trend see: any red carpet event in the past few decades. But when it comes to teen dating, the stakes are high. Many of us say when it comes to how old we are, age is just a number. But when it comes to who our teenage daughters are dating, and who they fall in love with, let’s be honest, age does matter. How comfortable would you be if your year-old daughter was dating a year-old boy?
Or if your year-old daughter was dating an older man, say, one in in his 40s?
The dilemma I have a year-old daughter. Her mother and I split up when she was seven due to her mother’s infidelity. I still see my daughter.
This is Ask a Cool Dad, in which our resident dad who is also cool fields questions from readers about how they, too, can navigate the difficulties of parenthood without looking like a square. Have parenting questions of your own? I am the year-old father of a year-old daughter who recently brought her new boyfriend — a year-old man — home for Thanksgiving.
And how can I overcome the instinctive weird feeling I have about this whole thing? Well, shit. But yeah, I imagine it feels mega weird. Assuming you have a halfway decent relationship with your daughter, I would suggest being as candid with her as possible about your concerns. But it is … unusual. Out of the ordinary. Which is enough to warrant a conversation, at least.
Perhaps you divorced her father and she is seeking a father figure in her life. Or perhaps she is daughter more attracted to a more mature man, who can offer her more security than a man her own age. Remember, a person’s psychological age may be much younger than his biological age, says couples therapist Dr.
How did you guys meet? We knew each other for a year before we started dating. We met playing pick-up soccer. Now, I must mention that his son played in those games as well he was 12 years old at the time. You know, due to the child thing. Was there an instant attraction? Initially, I just have to go back to that first reaction. Did you ever hear that story about when Columbus landed in the West Indies and the natives were not physically able to see the boats because nothing like that had ever entered their reality before?
Well, sort of like that. Have you dated men who were significantly older than you before? No, but I suppose I have been attracted to older men in the past.
How comfortable would you be if your year-old daughter was dating a woman-old boy? Or if your year-old daughter was dating an older someone, say, one in in his 40s? By the way, these 5 sex-related questions are essential to ask your older teen. With some celebrity couples having large age gaps, there is cause for parents to wonder how they would feel if their teenage daughter was dating someone old enough to be their parent, how they would handle it and if there is need for concern.
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“It’s not weird,” said his older daughter. “You’re awesome!” I nearly burst out into tears from the joy and relief of acceptance. Her sister, silent.
When it comes to dating, age is just one among many factors to consider as you seek your match. We bring all of our prior life experience to any relationship we enter, so how much does it matter that one person’s history is years or decades longer than the other’s? Here, two experts weigh in on the benefits of dating an older man, as well as the potential drawbacks.
While an older man dating a younger woman tends to raise less eyebrows than a woman’s romance with a younger man , the dynamic isn’t exactly stigma-free—particularly when the age gap is significant. Three years later, search husbandnotdad on Instagram and you’ll find a collection of smiling couples; on Twitter , the same hashtag’s happy photos are interspersed with searingly critical comments, which arguably confirms Thornton’s point. When women over 40 find themselves drawn to someone who’s older, they are less of a target for those who cry ‘daddy issues.
A range of generation gap-related issues more on those below can be easier to bridge when you’re over 40 as well. Stability, a strong sense of self, and advancement in his career are things older men can potentially bring to the table more often than a man in his 20s or 30s can, says Sherman. That said, extra years of life experience do often lead to greater maturity in relationships, and more life wisdom.
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In the movie American Beauty, a sexually frustrated suburban father has a mid-life crisis after becoming infatuated with his daughter’s best.
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Wait for them to come to you. The advice came from my dear friend Jennifer, who has a stepfamily of her own and understands that it takes time and patience to blend and bond. I was nervous. Scared, in fact, of two girls, ages 8 and
I’m looking for some advice. My wife and I have know for about a month and a half now that our daughter had a boyfriend. But we didn’t really know .
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The subject who is truly loyal to the Chief Magistrate will neither advise nor submit to arbitrary measures. This article was published more than 10 years ago. Some information in it may no longer be current. Most parents have developed a game plan for disciplining a year-old daughter who takes up smoking, gets her belly button pierced or starts a fight at school.
Have a question? Email her at dear. My year-old daughter has never been married but has had relationships with men and women. My daughter is having a good time but knows that the relationship is going nowhere. I feel she is not thinking clearly and is not valuing herself. One of the hardest aspects of being a parent is recognizing that your children are their own people, and that no matter how differently you see things—or how much you want to protect them—they get to make life choices of their own.
Right now, your proposed strategy for communicating your concern and love for your daughter is through punitive action boycotting her boyfriend.
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There’s usually not such a flap when an older man marries a younger woman. A friend of mine whose child is dating someone of a different race assured me.
Let him know how much you respect him. Tell him that you sincerely appreciate how positive influence he’s had on your daughter. Make it clear that you have no reason man suppose that their relationship is anything more than a friendship. But having said this, go dating what explain that, given daughter age difference, you feel it’s important to raise a “caution flag. If your acknowledges that he daughter have such feelings, suggest that it what dating better to limit the one-on-one time they spend together.
In our view, this would probably be an appropriate course of action your of how he responds. If he becomes angry older you about your concerns, that’s a “red flag. You may even want to discuss the issue with the appropriate person teen leadership at your church.